Going right?

Going sideways? We all are. So hop on, and hold tight. In essence, subway cars are glorified elevators. Only they don’t go up or down; they go side to side (at least the good ones). Come to think of it, wouldn’t it be great if your subway ran all the way from the subway station to your office floor? Sure, it would take some getting used to – especially the whole bit where the car switches between x and y axes and you fall into your scary, neighboring-rider’s lap – but imagine the convenience of stepping onto the “Subvator™” and ten minutes later stepping into your cubicle. You would get all the charm and flavor of the modern city subway experience (read: crazy people) with the efficiency of a high-speed elevator. Of course, this idea is still in the beta phase, and there are several kinks that need ironing-out (e.g. what to do if a vagrant follows you to work, trying to meet deadlines with street performer music emanating from the elevator shaft, and getting mustard and/or blood stains out of your suit jacket). Everyone would be expected to tip their Subvator™ operator, just as they would in a normal elevator, and Subvator™ surfing would be strictly prohibited (this refers to the daring, nay reckless act of riding the Subvator™ hands-free, and timing the abrupt switch between sideways and upwards travel with a tight back-flip, resulting in immediate suspension of riding privileges for thirty rides or one month, whichever comes first). Really, I don’t see how this could fail.