Rock on.

Spare some change? I’m not panhandling, I’m simply anticipating my next encounter with a toll taker. I seem to have a knack for never having enough cash or change on hand when I inevitably wind up at everybody’s favorite destination for fun and adventure: the highway tollbooth. Of course, these things are designed to catch you unawares, and I have the feeling toll takers love nothing more than watching you squirm in your seat as you frantically search under the floor mats for a stray quarter. Sure, I could order one of those windshield sensors that lets you fly through the express lane – and are confirming the suspicion that machines, not robots (that’s ridiculous), are stealing all of our jobs – but that’s nearly impossible. Why is it impossible? Because the thought of actually going through the proper channels to order a tollbooth express lane windshield sensor makes my soul cry. Seriously, can you imagine a more boring use of your time? “Uh, yes, I’d like to order a tollbooth sensor, please. I’ll hold.” Rock n’ roll, mother-truckers! Then again, I suppose taking the orders would be just as boring, so… Oh, man, the mere thought of that is really bumming me out. Here I am writing jokes about tollbooths and toll takers, and I completely forgot about THE PEOPLE WHO PROCESS TOLLBOOTH SENSOR ORDERS. That is like the PB&J of horrible jobs. It’s a perfect combination of nutty Customer Service and fruity Sales. On the plus side, you probably get really familiar with the different sensor models: white and off-white. Wow…just, wow. I’m…I can’t even imagine. Be right back – I’m going to go hug Wife.