Rear attack.

I’m hit! Not by my Battleship opponent or a pie or a flying shoe (all very real possibilities, nonetheless), but by a car. Thankfully, I am also in a car, which happens to be three times the size of the vehicle that has just struck me from the rear. This is a detail that will be important later. By later, I mean right now. To make a long story no different in length whatsoever, the car that rear-ended me got all smashed up in the hood and headlight area. Both myself and the other driver were fine (he was only going about ten miles per hour), and my car was basically unscathed. Of course this barely assuaged the stress and anxiety that comes with being rear-ended when you are stopped at a red light, both of which were in fact exacerbated by the other driver sharing pictures of some of his other car accidents with me as we waited for the police to arrive. I’m pretty sure the first class they teach you in law school is “Don’t Show Pictures Of Your Car Accidents To People You Have Just Gotten In A Car Accident With 101.” There is also an intermediate course called “Deleting All Your Pictures Of Car Accidents 202,” but they really don’t recommend you take that without 101 under your belt (apparently the professor grades on a pretty steep curve). What’s worse, nobody ever taught me how to make conversation with The Person Who Has Just Struck You With An Automobile. What the heck are you supposed to talk about? “So, you just endangered my life. Do you watch Glee?”