Panda-Fiver.

May I use your bedroom? Oh, sure, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask to use your bathroom, but the bedroom? Talk about ga-rum-py! Looks like I’m not the only one who could use a nap! In a ideal world, I would be taking a five minute nap every thirty minutes, no matter where I was or what I was doing (I would also have the head of a lion and the torso of a Komodo dragon in an ideal world, but that’s just me). It’s funny, because I have a terrible time getting to sleep at night, but if I so much as lean against the gum rack in the supermarket checkout line at three o’clock in the afternoon, we’re talking instantaneous R.E.M. action. After all, you have to admit that napping is inherently sexier than Going To Bed. Yes, we Nappers are the James Dean’s of the dream world: napping in unusual places at inappropriate times, because, hey, we’re rebels. You think we actually give a fudge (mmm, fudge) when you shoot us looks of disapproval as we set up our fold-out cots in the middle of a Panda Express and lie down for a quick Panda-Fiver (Napper slang for a five-minute nap in a Panda Express)? Hell, no! Why don’t you and your white-bread, cookie-cutter, early to bed, early to rise cronies go rock climbing, or skydiving, or anything else that would end horribly if you suddenly took a nap in the middle of it? See, now I’m cranky! I’m just going to lean against this mail-box here, and take a quick naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa