Can we expense kibble?
I ask because recently New Cat has been trying to climb into my car every morning before work, and I am starting to think it would be easier to just let her tag along.
I mean, really, would that be so crazy? I’ve worked in plenty of offices that allow dogs, and dogs require constant supervision, are more prone to accidents, and bark at your boss – you know, the one who can’t step foot in a Zoo without making the animals go crazy because they can smell the evil from a mile away.
In fact, I’d be willing to bet that not only would New Cat be a welcome addition to our corporate team, she would also manage to synergize workflow, increase productivity, and maximize profits, simply by greeting others with her signature Back Flop Belly Rub maneuver.
Of course, Cat would be a different story entirely.
If I were to make the futile mistake of bringing Cat to work, the office would be transformed into a Kafkaesque sweatshop within five seconds.
Instead of salaries, our primary source of motivation would be ankle and wrist bites, and the dim overhead lighting would cast Cat-sized shadows (perfect for skulking).
Our health insurance would only be good at certain veterinarian practices, and the only celebrated holiday would be Cat’s birthday, which has no date, since Cat is a preternatural demon.
So, in summary, if I bring New Cat or Cat to work, they will either outperform me or drive me to madness, respectively.
Remind me to never do that.