The Pencil of Love
by Will Bailey
Pencil me in. I’m not trying to schedule a meet and greet or a meet and shame publicly, I’m simply expressing my appreciation for one of the simplest and most reliable instruments ever conceived: the pencil. Forget your dog, or the best man/maid of honor at your wedding – when it comes to Man’s Best Friend, the pencil stands alone. Or is it cheese that stands alone? Hmm. I really don’t want to offend any readers who happen to be Extreme Cheese Lovers, but then again, this blog was supposed to be all about pencils. As a compromise, for those of you who take your cheese very seriously, just replace the word “pencil” with the word “cheese” whenever it subsequently appears. That way you can have your pencil (cheese) and eat it too. See? It’s win-win. Back to pencils. Understated yet bold, durable yet precise, the pencil possesses a characteristic duality unmatched by any member of the writing utensil family. Think about it: you can bite, tap, pick and thwap that Number Two all day long and it’s not going to spring a leak and stain your new dress shirt like some instruments I know [cough] pen [cough]. Sure, pencils have a few shortcomings, like requiring constant sharpening and smelling faintly of dirty hamster cages, but these cons are overshadowed by the innumerable pros that make pencils the Writing Utensil of the People. Also, they wonderfully compliment any charcuterie or fruit plate being passed at a fancy cocktail party. That one was for you, Cheese Heads.