by Will Bailey
I hope you are sitting down. No, I’m not about to deliver some terrible news, such as “You’re fired,” or “The squirrels have breached our fortifications and are about to storm the control room.” I just really like sitting, preferably in a fully reclined position. It’s super comfortable, plus it makes you feel like you are doing important futuristic things in your levitating future chair, in the future. Therefore, I hope you are doing the same. In fact, I’m such a fan of reclining that I strongly believe all public and private establishments that offer seating of any kind should be filled with recliners. If it were up to me, all restaurants, shopping malls, sports stadiums, doctor’s offices, libraries, parks, beaches, ski resorts, mountains, and yes, oceans, would be equipped with fully functional recliners that float in water and have two cup holders, one on each arm. Just imagine a city park filled with men, women, children and even dogs lounging in weather-proofed recliners. We could also motorize some of the fancier models, so people could go about their days running errands and socializing from the comfort of their plush movable thrones. The only snafu would be the fact that you are especially prone to bird droppings attacks when you are fully reclined Out Of Doors. Obviously, some enterprising industrialist would have to design and manufacture special face shields to prevent such a misfortune from ruining your R&R (Relaxation & Reclining). That’s really the only major obstacle I can think of. Then again, I am currently reclined. My brain doesn’t work so good when I’m like this.