The Fan Fan
by Will Bailey
Robot voice.
I love my fans. Not only are they really cool, but they also help me fall asleep. Some people think I’m crazy for sleeping with fans, but they’re probably just jealous. What? Why are you looking at me that way? Oh. I see. You thought I was talking about people. Well, that’s ridiculous! I’m talking about the kind of fans that blow- OK, you know what? Let’s try to think of a different word we can use. How about: revolutionary air circulators. That’s better. You know, for my money, I’d take a revolutionary air circulator over an A/C unit any day. They’re cheap, easy to set up and provide you with a steady stream of cool air all through the night. They also make your voice sound funny if you talk through the spinning blades. But don’t try that, because it is almost as dangerous as it is fun. Note my deliberate use of the word “almost.” Just don’t blame me if you wind up in the emergency room with your tongue stuck in a fa-I mean, revolutionary air circulator. Wow. That was close. Innuendo averted! But seriously, with the first heat-wave of the summer upon us, I highly recommend ditching clunky, expensive air conditioning and hooking up a revolutionary air circulator. There. Who ever said a happily married man couldn’t talk about appliances with spinning blades that cool him off and make his voice sound robotic without seeming uncouth? Shame on you. Shame on you all.
also leaving huge carbon footprint, we use both. A/C in the summer (cause in northern California it gets HOT) Not Las Vegas in August Hot…but pretty close. we also use a ceiling fan (or what you called it) to keep the air moving and a tiny little guy that makes just the right noise, it’s conducive to sleeping. We use the little guy all year round. If it dies…we die with it…due to lack of sleep I would imagine.
So, much like a shark if it stops swimming, if you stop getting blasted by A/C, you die?
Reblogged this on vedha4ever and commented:
funny one..
Oh my gosh, the innuendo has be blushing… Better get my fan!!!
Love the graphic – that is the face of a person who truly enjoys his revolutionary air circulator.
That’s exactly what I told my photographer! Glad it came across.
OK, I am guilty of destroying the earth AND causing global warming. Cause I use both.
Shiva, God of Personal Cooling Appliances.
I like talking into fans as well. I prefer to make my voice very Darth Vader, a la Chris Farley in “Tommy Boy”.
And then, sometimes, I use that voice to say things like, “Luke, you forgot to get milk on your way home”, or “Luke, your real first name is actually Allen”.
“Luke, up in the sky, it’s a bird…”
making robot voice with a fan is really fun. it’s like if you talk from inside a force field. how long do you think you can talk into a fan until you get trapped wind? greetings from Indonesia.
Greetings!
With this heat over here, I prefer the AC, but I guess some people prefer fans.
Don’t get me wrong, there is definitely a tipping point. I just haven’t admitted defeat quite yet.
I share my love of these appliances with you. Don’t like the A/C much either, there is nothing exotic about them. When I fall asleep on the sound of a Revolutionary Air Circulators (can I say RAC?) I imagine the sound of waving palms, cooling me down while I rest in my hammock. But maybe that is just me?
RAC is fine, although at this point we might as well say fan.
Revolutionary Air Circulators….Wow, that’s a mouthful and harder to type than fan and I bet it sounds cool if you say it in a robotic voice. Fancy stuff!
Welp, I know what I’m doing for the rest of the day! Thanks for the great idea!
Can I call it a RAC? Thanks. You know, I’m a bumble. That’s all I can handle : )
like but do not totally understand – my husband tells me that he will explain things to me when I grow up – I am not sure when that will be
How do you think I feel? I don’t even understand it and I wrote it.
lol