If Not Meow, When?
by Will Bailey
Barking contest.
Got earplugs? Cat has been meowing for about ten minutes straight, and in the words of my Hollywood Actor Uncle, and any number of sea captains, I’m sure, “I’m becoming un-tethered.” They’re not innocent little mews, either. They’re long, punctuated, crescendo meows that permeate the walls and cause all rodents to create a one hundred foot buffer zone between their kin and the terrifying monster that is screeching from within House Nailthbailth. What’s worse, Cat makes a point to look directly at me when he meows like this, which is the closest I will ever get to being yelled at by an animal. The problem is, Cat wants to be let outside on his leash so he can fantasize about beheading small birds while he stares at them. It’s the kind of behavior you would expect out of a pervy criminal, not a civilized house cat. But here we are: in the middle of an ugly stand-off. Cat, in one corner, yelling at me to get off my butt and help him go creep out some birds. In the other, I’m trying to clear my head and get some writing done, which is infinitely more difficult when a miniature lion is screaming at you. Perhaps I should try to beat Cat at his own game by meowing back. Or better yet, I could bark at him while maintaining unwavering eye contact. Yea, that’ll show him! Now I just have to figure out how to best explain this to Wife when she wakes up to the sound of her husband barking at her cat. Too much coffee?
Yowling back will get more of a response than barking. The cat will either think you are as upset about it as he/she is and come running up to you or he/she will run off and hide for a bit. The reaction depends on how good you mimic the same sounds and what the cat thinks he/she is saying to you. At least, that is how it works in my experience.
Dogs have masters…
… Cats have staff
Love the comment.
Mom to an Angel Corgi
My friend’s cat always tries to run out the door whenever it opens and incessantly meows repeatedly if she fails.
Interestingly enough, she rarely ever meows for any reason other than that. When the above situation happens, she goes into a frenzy, however, and tries to stare us down into opening the door for her.
I just wanted to say thank you for this little piece, this is what made me start my first post on my new WordPress blog this morning.
[...] feeling it. Also, when I had gone to the WordPress homepage the first thing I saw was this blog about cats and, being a cat person, I was [...]
*snicker* Love it! Cats really do think they rule the world. My cats are much quieter but find their own ways of seeking attention. One of my cats always licks me when I’m writing and tramples the computer during any attempts to type. She also deposits her toys on our beds and treadmill. Another hijacks the remotes for the tv and lays upon them and any textbooks like a bird on her. The third forces her way under laptops and onto laps and licks anything plastic….We haven’t found ways to stop them from their mischief. I hope you find ways of stopping you Cat from his mischief.
Hmmmm, and just when we put dibs down on a new kitty…. It’ll be in addition to our little miniature lion who loves to gnaw on human flesh, and bring blood after anything more than 1 minute of purring/attention!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I am still a green horn!
Hahahaha so amusing. I can totally relate to this, our beloved pets can be so cute and adorable as well as noisy and annoying at times but we still love them!
Wonderful – brief and made me giggle.
SO made my day. try the barking, im sure its gonna creep your cat out. and your wife too:)
I think you’re just being catty…
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I never thought about my cat as yelling at me before, but that’s exactly what it’s doing. I now have a completely different perspective of my little lion.
I’m cool with animals but i got to admit that i am more of a dog person then anything. They are far more loving and loyal then cats who by the way break your things with out a care in the world. Atleast when dogs do it they feel a certain way about it unless we have already forgotten about that “Guiltiest Dog In The World” video. I know i sure haven’t so bark all day back at the cat if you like and maybe ill join you cause i know i sure have had too much coffee. ( Dog Power ) -,o
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I feel your pain… my cat Pebbles does this for hours at a time in the middle of the night. She also combines it with sprinting around the house like a cheetah in the few minutes leading up to a kitty litter event.
My dog does the same thing so he can go chase birds -which he NEVER catches. I really can’t judge him though. How many times have I wasted money on things I can’t afford/don’t need? I guess pets, like us, have egos too.
Hilarious post! Congrats on being FP!
Reblogged this on Redick211's Blog.
Wait…you mean you have a cat…and it MEOWS? That’s so WEIRD. Great post! I have literally never heard of a cat meowing, but thanks to you, I now know.
Loved the post! Sounds like such a familiar story. Our cat calmly and quietly enters the bedroom in morning with soft meows. When that proves unfruitful he moves to the sit on your chest and purr loudly (almost violently!) tactic. He then moves in for the lick on the nose and if you turn your head to the side he will bite your ear. When all of these attempts fail to rouse you, he begins his symphony by bashing the blinds in, trying to cause as much sound vibration as possible. And then he moves on to loud and determined meows which sound much like what you are experiencing. The death meow where nothing else can be accomplished until his venture outside is sated. Congrats on being freshly pressed!
My cat has the oddest meow ever. It’s usually the male ones that have funny meows after getting “fixed” but Shelly sounds like somebody’s gargling sandpaper! Funny post, conrats on being Freshly Pressed too!
Conor
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Hilarious!
oh i like you.
meow or never right?
This is hilarious! Cat reminds me of some of my family members haha.
My cat only meows on very rare occasions. In fact I feel blessed whenn she makes any noise. Even weirder it sounds more like a chirrup? Laughed loads at your post. Thanks for sharing.
umm… it’s so freakin’ funny
ahh can’t stop laughin’ .. it’s so Hillary
Hilarious!! I can definitely relate. My cat has been meowing at me to get out as well but there is a mammoth one eyed orange cat out there that’s sure to cause some damage if he finds my sweet precious unattended. No way Jose!
I have heard that meowing is something cats only do for humans’ sake! When they talk to each other it sounds different so yes, he’s totally yelling at you! Good luck!
I throw things not directly at my cat. Usually does the trick.
Reblogged this on hastilyScribbled and commented:
Freshly Pressed!
I think it’s entirely possible that we have the same cat.
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Cats do what they want, when they want and how they want. And if u dare tell your cat what to do. He will just give you a look and say, “you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my real father”. Lol very good story. Enjoyed
Put cat in the laundry bin for a bit and close the lid. Just sayin’
Cat whisperer, you can start a tv show like that dog trainer guy : ) I have three and get no where meowing back at them.
Jajaja…mi gato hace exactamente lo mismo…
If my cat loses sight of me in the house, he walks around calling me, and getting louder and more plaintive until I answer him, then he runs to where I am, meows loudly at me for leaving his sight, and then promptly turns his back on me and finds a sunny spot in which to sleep. Or pretends to groom himself.
Hahaha, this reminded me of boyfriend’s cat. Loved the write up, and I can onlly imagine the wife’s reaction when she woke up to her husband barking at the cat. Congrats on Freshly Pressed!
Cats are just plain creepy. I watched a movie once years ago about an old lady that had like 30 cats and then one day they turned on her. About a month ago I walked outside to find 10 cats just sitting in a cluster on my front yard. Now anyone that knows anything about cats knows this is practically unheard of. Was a wee bit unsettling to say the least….and this comes from a cat owner herself…hahaha
If the cat wants out so bad, let it free. Let it see for itself the harsh reality of the world outside. All the fantasies he has about biting the heads off birds – - they’re all a lie. No bird in town will even talk to poor Cat. And the ones who do let him pluck at their feathers charge by the minute.
Yes, it’s a harsh world out there, Cat. Trying to make it on your own. Big thugs riding in nice cars with their tongues flapping in the wind as they go down the street – barking at you just cause you’re there.
You’re better off inside, Cat – happy with whatcha got. Now let me get back to work.
Lol I say meow back! I had a cat for four years till I starting dating my wife who is allergic. He is in a good home now of a couple who have four cats. My parents have a cat who meows everytime he is about to jump up somewhere he is not supposed to. I wonder if he will ever learn that if he is quiet while jumping up he could probably get away with it. Saw you on freshly pressed, you blog caught my eye. Look forward to following your blogs!
Hahaha! Very funny – thanks for the laugh
And congratulations on being freshly pressed.
When I got my cats from the shelter they were full of information (mostly of the monetary donation type). In retrospect, the ONLY piece of information they left out is that THEY LIVE FOR FUCKING 20 YEARS! The day someone told me they live that long I started a period of mourning that lasted…well, it’s still going on. Biggest mistake EVER. I should have just bought a kid.
No kidding eh? They do live too long!
Tell your wife that you are trying to teach the cat a second language.
ha ha thats pretty funny too much coffee yah my friends cat can get really stubborn cat who keeps meowing for constant hours.
I’ve had cats all of my life so I can certainly relate to being yelled at by a feline. I can take it from cats but I admit to finding it difficult from other humans. I would imagine that’s why I’m single. LOL
Yeah, just a little too much coffee. Animals are funny like that sometimes. It’s like the time I knocked on a neighbors door just to find that they were not home, but their little dog kept barking and jumping up to see through the window on the top half of the door. I walked off and walked around the block. When I came back to the neighbor’s home 20 minutes later that dog was still barking and jumping up to see through the window on the door. Very funny!
Hilarious!! I can definitely relate. My cat has been meowing at me to get out as well but there is a mammoth one eyed orange cat out there that’s sure to cause some damage if he finds my sweet precious unattended. No way Jose!!
SO did you think of an explanation for your wife
?
Your wife would definitely think somethings very wrong