January 26, 2012
Filthy urchin.
Please sir, I want some more. No, seriously. Give me more oatmeal. It’s delicious. Plus, it’s low in cholesterol and still manages to make you feel full. Also, it cooks in the microwave in about thirty seconds, and you can eat it out of a cup. It’s a miracle food, oatmeal is, and I say it’s high time we started treating it like one. Frankly, I blame Hollywood. For decades, Tinseltown has been running a smear campaign against oatmeal to serve its own selfish breakfast agenda. Think about it: who eats oatmeal in the movies? Prisoners, outlaws, and orphans, that’s who. What’s worse, some spineless screenwriter, who didn’t have the chutzpah to put a steaming bowl of whole grains and brown sugar into the hands of Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant (Big Oatmeal had a fraction of the lobbying resources of Big Tobacco), invented that foul, slanderous slur, “gruel.” If somebody was eating oatmeal on the silver screen, they were doing so with a black eye, or drunk, and their hand was almost always shaking, so as to make the watery slop dance on the poor soul’s spoon. Meanwhile, the leading man was tucking into a glistening plate of scrambled eggs, sausage and pancakes after a long night of being handsome. Which, by the way, is total baloney, because if you ate that kind of fatty, syrup-drenched breakfast every day, you would stop looking like Clark Gable and start looking like Orson Welles (the fat, drunken years). Of course, the leading lady would never be caught eating oatmeal either. She was allowed to have one cigarette for breakfast. Two, if she was hungry.
apple & cinnamon oatmeal is the only one i’ve ever trusted and decided it was delicious after finishing the tiny created bowls…. yet i never eat this cheap and easy food
I enjoy oatmeal of all creeds and flavors.
i ate it this morning and im handsome
You shall be our poster boy.
Just like your stories – this is quick and healthy.
That looks delicious!