January 24, 2012
Snowball fight!
It’s snowing. Which means the bearded lady who lives in the sky is shaking out her dandruff. At least that’s what I’m going to tell my kids (hey, my kids, my lies). I’m also going to teach them some new ways to have fun in the snow. Frankly, I’m sick and tired of snowmen, snow angels, and snowball fights. They’re rote traditions that may have been enjoyable back when men, angels and balls were popular, but the times they are a-changin’! This is the Milleniteens: the age of smartphones, single serving coffee makers and unemployment. That’s why I propose we update our Dickensian snow activities to better suit this, our Modern Era. Introducing: “SnowTown,” the snow-play simulation social network game available exclusively on The Social Networking Site That Shall Not Be Named. In SnowTown, you can check out the latest weather reports, share snowflakes with your friends and yes, even join in on a MMORPG snowball toss (note: the word “fight” was replaced to obtain a tamer rating). All you need is a username, password and social security number! There’s also a lengthy terms of use agreement, but don’t worry, just skip to the end and blindly click accept. Before you know it, you’ll be frolicking in digital fields of pixilated snow with your fully customizable SnowVatar (you must unlock the SnowTown GoldenSnow Account Package for access to customizable accessories such as hats, crazy sunglasses and the SnowTown SnowSpeeder–otherwise all you get is one piece of charcoal and a baby carrot). Yep, I can’t wait to play with my kids in SnowTown.
Just kidding. That would be awful. I’ll be pelting them with ice like everybody else.
Funny:) Oh man, if building snowmen becomes the next Farmville, I am done.
Nah not really, more snow for me!
You can check out of SnowTown if you want to, but you can never leave.