January 18, 2012
Self expression.
I’m grumpy. I’m not like this all the time. In fact, I’m usually pretty chipper. But right now, at this moment, all I want to do is lie down in the middle of my office and start kicking my legs in the air while making whiney sounds until somebody walks by and makes me feel better. Is that really so crazy? Well, according to society, it is. In fact, if you do this as an adult, you could lose your job, lose your friends; heck, you could even be arrested. But if you’re a kid, and you’ve got a bad case of the grump-grumps, all you have to do is throw a tantrum, and, with a little luck and a push-over for a Mommy or Daddy, you could be rewarded. What a scam! Listen up, kids: get in your public meltdowns now, because in a few years The Man is going to come along and take away your right to whine. It’s a real bummer–one that you won’t be able to complain about when you’re my age. There are, however, a few, erm, workarounds. See, us adults can’t pull off a good old-fashioned supersonic algospasm in the middle of a crowded mall without being dragged away by security. We have to be way more subtle, and therefore, way more diabolical. For instance, we can block the entrance to a crowded subway car during the middle of rush hour. We can send two word, unpunctuated responses to lengthy e-mails. We can snub an overworked waiter or cab driver their tip. Or – I can’t believe I’m telling you this, as it is a closely guarded secret only us adults know – we can be passive aggressive, which is the biological warfare of being grumpy. It’s downright evil, and super effective. Granted, it’s not quite as satisfying as forfeiting all motor control and cry-screaming in the middle of, say, an airport security line. But it’s pretty darn close. There, I feel better now.
ha I know this feeling sooo well!
We must share the grumpy gene.
I am feeling the same way today at the office. All I want to do is stop responding to emails and start having a tantrum. To be a kid again…
“Working Baby” – a new zany comedy starring Adam Sandler! Budget: $250 million.