The Making of Boxes

Experts only.

I’m a boxer. Not the punchy-punch kind, or the dog breed, for that matter. No, I am a humble artisan skilled in the timeless trade of cardboard box assembly. Need a box put together in a fairly timely fashion? I’m your man. See, Wife and I are moving across the country, so the last few days have been one big box-making party (minus, you know, the fun). Here’s how it all goes down: (1) Wife hands me a flattened box; (2) I assemble it; (3) Repeat. Hey, I never said this was glamorous work! If you’re looking for some big, sexy, extreme box-making show, you’ve come to the wrong place. I hear there’s a bunch of punks who do that behind the CVS. They smoke cigarettes and listen to hop-hop and “just, like, make boxes, man”  - Ugh, youth today. No respect for packing tape – Listen, if you want to do some real, serious, no-frills box making, you know where I live (at least for the next seven days). I can show you techniques you didn’t even think were possible. You know that awesome flap-tuck maneuver you always see the professional movers use, but are too afraid to try yourself because you might wind up marginally embarrassed? I invented that. I was also the first person to use packing peanuts, only I use real peanut shells. That’s right: I’m a purist. And trust me, unlimited peanuts is just one of the many dozens of perks that comes with being a professional boxer. There’s also the increased storage capacity, the groupies (Wife and Cat), the, uh… Well, alright, I guess there are only three perks.

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12 thoughts on “The Making of Boxes

  1. Good luck moving Cat (could be your big chance for Cat to go . . . catting). You know how they are, always catting around. They only hang out with you when it suits their (cat) fancy. Hope you’re moving west of the Mississippi. Friendliest people around out there. Eastern US, not so much.

    • Luckily, Cat was dropped off at our destination weeks ago (he’s in good hands). We didn’t want to make the trek with a wolverine in our back seat.

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